Our children already belong. It is time for our systems to behave as though they do.

We write as parents and carers of Jewish neurodivergent and disabled children.
We are tired.

Tired of meetings explaining our children. Tired of reports, professionals and suggested adjustments, then fighting for those adjustments to happen. Tired of being told about inclusion while watching our children struggle to experience it.
For some, that means school refusal, reduced timetables, constant calls home, social isolation, time outside the classroom, or holding themselves together all day and falling apart at home.

For some, it ends with leaving.
Not because they want to.

Sometimes families are told: “We can’t meet your child’s needs.” Sometimes nobody says the words. Instead there are reduced hours, exclusions and escalating meetings until the message becomes clear: this child is too difficult, too disruptive, too resource-intensive, or simply more than the school can manage.

Eventually the family understands:
There is no longer a place here for your child.
That is not a free choice to leave. That is being pushed out.

And for a Jewish family, that loss is profound.

Our children do not simply lose a school. They can lose Jewish learning, Hebrew, tefillah, Jewish celebrations, friendships, youth movement connections and the experience of growing up immersed in Jewish communal life.
They lose the casual things too: singing the same songs as their cousins; seeing the same children at youth movement or shul; knowing Rosh Hashanah is coming because the whole school feels different; being surrounded by people for whom being Jewish requires no explanation.

Those things can look small from the outside. They are not small. They are belonging.

Sometimes siblings remain at the school their brother or sister has had to leave. Sometimes a child already used to feeling different is left with one more message: there was no place for you here.

Families should not have to choose between an education that supports their child’s disability and one that nurtures their Jewish identity.

Then something confronting sometimes happens.
The child moves to a government school or another independent school.
They attend. They learn. They make friends. They feel safe.

The child did not stop being autistic. Their ADHD did not disappear. Their dyslexia did not resolve itself. Their anxiety did not magically vanish.
The child did not change. The environment did.
We need to understand why.

Not every child thrives after leaving, and not every non-Jewish school gets inclusion right. But it happens often enough that we should ask what changed, what others do differently, and what our own schools already do well.

This is not about blaming schools. Many educators are doing exceptional work. Schools and parents cannot solve this alone.

We are asking Melbourne’s Jewish community to establish and fund an independent Jewish Inclusive Education Service.
Led initially by a Jewish Inclusive Education Lead, with specialist expertise as needed, it should build school capability, provide early consultation, offer an independent pathway when families and schools reach an impasse, identify patterns, share good practice and support accountability.

We are asking for an initial six-month establishment and review phase, offering support while listening to families whose children are thriving, struggling or have left, alongside students, educators and clinicians.

Within six months, it should publish a public, de-identified report on why children leave, what happens afterwards, what works, where barriers exist and what action should follow.
Without data, patterns remain anecdotes. Without transparency, each family can be told their experience is isolated. Without accountability, we risk having this conversation again in five years.

Success cannot simply be measured by funding, aides or programs.
Are children learning? Do they have friends? Do they feel safe and wanted? Are adjustments happening? Are families helped before breaking point? Are educators supported?

Ultimately: can neurodivergent and disabled Jewish children remain part of Jewish education when that is what they and their families want?

As Jews, we speak of b’tzelem Elokim, the dignity and worth of every human being. Our children are no less deserving of that dignity or belonging.

A child should never have to become less autistic, less ADHD, less anxious, less dyslexic or less themselves to earn their place within their own community.

We ask our community to establish the Service, fund the first six months, listen to those who stayed and those pushed out, report publicly and act.

If you are signing as a parent or carer of a neurodivergent or disabled child with experience of Melbourne Jewish education, please also share your experience here: Experiences of Neurodivergent and Disabled Children in Melbourne Jewish Education – Fill in form

Our children already belong. It is time for our systems to behave as though they do.